The Pros and Cons of Marrying Frank West

For those of you who don’t know him, Frank West is a fictional freelance photographer who stars as the protagonist in the video game Dead Rising for Xbox 360, which summed up is about Frank West being trapped in a mall with a bunch of zombies.


The Pros:

Think of Frank West like Chuck Norris with ankle weights. He kills zombies. How cool is that? Very. If you were to marry Frank West, guess what you would get to do. Kill zombies. And killing zombies is like the greatest thing ever, because you can kill thousands of them and you don’t feel bad about it. You’re pretty much helping mankind by doing it. So you marry a man who kills zombies, and you’re brought into the profession.

Frank West would offer you so much security in your life, it would be awesome. Mugging, kidnapping, this is nothing compared to a zombie outbreak. And it stands to argue that if he can beat up a zombie with its own arm, he’ll pretty much project you from anything. Watch out Harrison Ford in pretty much all of his movies, because Frank West would be able to get his family back in like, two seconds.

On your wedding day, you wouldn’t even need to hire a photographer, because Frank West is one.


The Cons:

Frank West seems like a guy who would bring his work home with him. You would be preparing a lovely dinner, and then Frank would come home with a bunch of zombies and ask to eat dinner in the den. What a jerk.

He would be off on business all the time, covering foreign wars and such. And you would never know if he’s actually off doing work, or just having some fun time with his whore secretary. Not that I’m implying anything. I mean, he just disappears to a mall in Colorado for 72 hours without saying anything. Does that sound like a reliable husband?


Final Decision:

Whether to marry Frank West is really your choice, but after stating the pros and cons, I believe that Frank West would want to settle down after this whole zombie apocalypse is over, and just raise a family and live a nice quiet life. On the flip side, there is a dead rising 2 coming out soon, so where the hell is Frank West?

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Blog Author: Nick Paddison