Friday, February 27, 2009

Venus and Serena Williams are Dead!

Here's a little section of the Tom Stoppard play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead... or was it smack talk on the court from the singles tournament at Wimbledon '04. I get the two mixed up.


Ven: Shouldn't we be doing something... constructive?

Ser: What did you have in mind? A short, blunt human pyramid?

Ven: We could play at questions.

Ser: And what good would that do?

Ven: I don't know.

Ser: Statement! One-love.

Ven: Cheating!

Ser: How?

Ven: I hadn't started yet.

Ser: Statement! Two-love.

Ven: Are you counting that?

Ser: What?

Ven: Are you counting that?

Ser: Foul. No repetition. Three-love. First game to...

Ven: I'm not going to play if you're going to be like that.

Ser: Whose serve?

Ven: Huh?

Ser: Foul! No grunts. One-love.

Ven: Whose go?

Ser: Why?

Ven: Why not?

Ser: What for?

Ven: Foul! No synonyms. One-all.

Ser: What in God's name is going on here?

Ven: Foul! No rhetoric! Two-one.

Ser: What does it all add up to?

Ven: Can't you guess?

Ser: Are you addressing me?

Ven: Is there anyone else?

Ser: Who?

Ven: How should I know?

Ser: Why are you asking?

Ven: Are you serious?

Ser: Was that rhetoric?

Ven: No.

Ser: Statement! Two-all.

Ven: What's the matter with you today?

Ser: When?

Ven: What?

Ser: Are you deaf?

Ven: Am I dead?

Ser: Yes or no?

Ven: Is there a choice?

Ser: Is there a God?

Ven: Foul! No non-sequiturs. Three-two. One game all.

Ser: What's your name?

Ven: What's yours?

Ser: I asked first.

Ven: Statement. One-love.

Ser: What's your name when you're at home?

Ven: What's yours?

Ser: When I'm at home?

Ven: Is it different at home?

Ser: What home?

Ven: Haven't you got one?

Ser: What are you saying?

Ven: What are you driving at?

Ser: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Ven: Repetition. Two-love. Match point to me.

Ser: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Ven: Rhetoric! Game and Match!
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Blog Author: Harry Klassen

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